Should One Apologize in Person, or Is Repentance in the Heart Sufficient?

When you realize you are wrong and have done something hurtful to others, you must repent and apologize. Apologizing means sincerely expressing your remorse and regret to the other person to mend their psychological sense of loss, alleviate their unhappiness, while also resolving resentment and untie knots, eliminating mental barriers, and fostering a harmonious relationship. Repentance and apology should be directed toward a specific goal and a specific person, for having wronged someone, you must confess your faults directly to them, repent, and apologize to demonstrate your sincerity. This shows you have truly recognized that you have wronged others, wish to reform, and make amends to that person.

If you do not repent and apologize to this person face-to-face, but only repent in your heart, too afraid to confront them, such repentance lacks sincerity. It cannot remove the mental barrier in the other person, nor can it make up for their psychological sense of loss, nor can it change the relationship between both parties. Since the other person has been hurt and treated unfairly, and you have recognized it, you must offer them some form of compensation—at the very least, psychological and emotional compensation. You must explain the matter clearly face-to-face, allowing them to find peace in their heart. This is the most basic respect and repentance. If you harbor various psychological and emotional conflicts while the other person remains completely unaware, the mental faculties of both parties do not connect, and the knots in the heart will not be fully untied. The barrier cannot be completely removed, making this repentance neither thorough nor complete, reflecting a psychological tendency to evade problems and avoid confronting mistakes.